I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for a little over nine years now, but depending on which social media site you find me, or which email address I use, you’ll notice that I use my maiden and married name interchangeably. I grew up watching the professional women around me keep their maiden names for professional use, and use their married names in day-to-day life. I ultimately did the same, which is why you’ll frequently see “Wilder” on my social media profiles, but “Hofford” on my website, resume, and work email signatures.
Honestly, one of my main reasons to not change my legal name to my husband’s was weariness on two fronts: first, Rick and I got married, moved across the country, and started new jobs all in the span of a month. I simply didn’t want to deal with all of the things that go along with legally changing my name: new license, new passport, changing all of my accounts, etc. You get the idea. But secondly…if I heard one more joke about me being Laura Wilder, “just like the girl from Little House on the Prairie,” I was going to lose it. (Fun fact: one of the painting companies I worked for in recent years jumped on that joke in any case, which then devolved into me acquiring the nickname – you guessed it – Half-Pint.)
In retrospect, choosing to be loose with my name may not have been the best idea. Over the last few years, whenever I’ve been travelling, I’ve found myself more and more often being pulled aside for additional airport screening. I was still wanting to believe it was purely bad luck until I was returning to the US from Austria a few years ago. Again, my legal name is still my maiden name, which is on my passport and tickets, always. I got stuck again going through Customs. The officer looked at my passport and his screen, and then asked me, “Laura Wilder?” I didn’t think about it at first as I replied, “Yeah, that’s my married name,” but as I walked on to baggage claim I realized what had happened: I’m flagged extra screening because I’m in the government database as having an alias!
So, my advice to all of you folks out there considering a name change due to a big life event or otherwise is this: pick one!
Sincerely, your friend, Laura Hofford, aka Laura Hofford Wilder, aka Laura Wilder.